“Jesus Wept” – John 11:35

“You keep track of all my sorrows, you have collected my tears in your bottle, you have recorded them in your book.”  – Psalm 56:8

 

Did you know that in the entire created world, only humans cry as an emotional response?
It’s true.
We are the only ones who cry when we are sad, when we are joyful, and for a myriad of other emotions.  
I’m a cryer.
Those of you who know me well know this about me already, but it’s a part of who I am.
And it’s a part of me that I’ve struggled with because crying hasn’t been seen as something strong for most of my life.
Suck it up.
Don’t cry.
How many of you have heard this same thing?
One of my favorite authors, Shauna Niequist, wrote that “the ability to cry is a sign of health, because it means your body and your soul agree on something, and that what your soul is feeling, your body is responding to.”

What your soul is feeling, your body is responding to.
Isn’t that lovely?
Studies have shown that women cry about 5 times a month (they obviously didn’t include me in that study) and men only cry an average of once a month.
We have equated crying with weakness and think of it as something to be avoided, to be held in.  
Yet crying has been proven to be helpful.
Tears contain high levels of stress hormones, which means they aren’t in your body anymore when you cry them out. And studies show that after people cry they have lower blood pressure and pulse rates.
Crying is literally good for you.

So how come we don’t cry more?
(Not me, obviously, but you know – most everyone else)

I used to try to hold it in, to apologize for my tears, but no more.
Because tears aren’t bad, they aren’t weak, they are simply a part of who I am as a child of God.
God created us to cry.
Jesus cried for pete’s sake, why can’t I?

So cry.

When life is hard, when you’re scared, when you’ve reached the end of your rope, cry.
Don’t hold it in.

Your tears are important to God.
Psalm 56 says that God records all our sorrows in his book – and he has collected our tears in a bottle.
Our tears are so precious to God.  He records each one.
He doesn’t turn away from them or get uncomfortable.
God knows each and every bit of what we are going through, and cries right along with us.

When I was a little girl, any time someone I loved would get hurt or cry, I’d always cry too.
It was so frustrating as a kid, because I didn’t feel like I had the right to cry since I wasn’t the one who was hurt or sick.
And let’s be real, I still do this.
I cry at funerals alongside grieving families.
I cry at hospital bedsides.
It’s so hard to see people I love in pain or grief.
But you guys, those tears, they mean something.
They are empathetic tears.
And they are as important as being the first one crying.
What was powerful about Jesus crying at the bedside of his friend wasn’t just that the Son of God was grieving, but that he joined others in their grief.  

It’s the me too.
Crying with each other is the best thing you can do in the midst of grief and hard times.
Because you aren’t giving cliche answers, you aren’t trying to fix anything… you’re simply saying me too.
And cliches and trite answers don’t change anything.
But the me toos?  
The me toos change everything.

So next time someone you know is grieving, sit next to them and cry right along.